Marriage Proposal From an Azerbaijanian Girl: An Email I Will Forever Ponder.

So I get home from school a few days ago and casually open up my email. Oh look! An email titled “Like you!!!!” from a personal address. Let’s open it. 

Good afternoon, it’s is Elma I’m from country Azerbaijan. You can see where it’s located on Google Maps. My country is independent. I find your address in dating marriage agency. In my country there are cruel traditions and rules for the girls. So I am so lonely in my life, and I know that never be happy here. I wish to find a real man from another country. With such man I will spend all my life. I’m sure I will be faithful and curious woman for this man. I will forward you my picturetures later, it’s really beautiful and you will like it, I’m sure. And after it you will have yet decire to speak with me! If you do not have relationships with other women now, and if you are also lonely, then I desire you write me the answer. I wish to learn you better. I really desire on your soon answer. And I’ll tell you yet about me, and we be able to comunicate. I’m looking forward to your answer Elma

Am I insane? Misinterpreting this letter? WHAT the hell did I just read!? I understand getting those junk whereblackpeoplemeet.com or christianmingle.com ads, but this is a personal letter!

How old is this girl, too? 12? Honestly, I have nothing more to say. It’s just so strange. How on EARTH would someone get my email? Is it a scam? Lure me in with some story and then somehow i’ll end up disappearing on the walk to the bus stop one morning? It’s all such a mystery. Well. I wish the best to the mystery girl, but i’ll be on my way. One post at a time.

Pig Shaped Headphones. The Greatest of Them All.

I wish I was kidding when I say this, but believe it or not, these are the best headphones i’ve ever owned. Sure, it’s hard to justify being a guy and wearing pink obnoxious earbuds, but the quality honestly justifies the humility. Unfortunately, finding a pair of these headphones are near impossible. Originally, I bought a pair for my sister in an airport store as a gift. However, when my cousin and I tested them on the plane, we were beyond jealous. Long after, my sister admit to having lost the pair so I decided to buy a pair myself. After much searching, I found a pair under $20 on a foreign site.

The point of this little story? Well, there is none. When is there ever a point to anything I say? Just go scavenge the earth for a pair.

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It’s Time to Reinvent the Wooden Pencil.

Do you see those pencils? Each and every one of them was used no more than a day or two. Unless you carry around a pack of eraser tops to put over the cracked off eraser tops, those pencils are essentially worthless.

Pencil manufacturers need to either start to pack eraser top replacements with their pencils, use higher quality eraser materials or modify the metal rings of pencil tops to be less prone to pinching the eraser, which causes them to break off.

Don’t get me wrong, mechanical pencils have their own quirks too, but at least those pencils often come with replaceable erasers or retractable ones so that after those 2 days of use, you can replace them and continue using them.

Who am I kidding… The wooden pencil will never change. They’re cheap to make and because they are, when they break, we just go right back to the store to buy more. It’s genius!

Did I just write 156 words on pencils? Yes I did.

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$90 for an ink cartridge? AWW HELL NAW.

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A few days ago, I stopped by a to Staples to find a replacement ink cartridge for my printer, since someone else in my household had decided to print a 70+ page document for themselves. Whether or not they read the document or not (they didn’t, in case you’re wondering) doesn’t matter, because every printer runs out eventually and chances are, the cartridge weighs only a few ounces – if that. So whenever my life is in peril, I turn to the website that solves it all: eBay.
There, I learned about a little known cheat that would save me quite a few bucks. Apparently, ink cartridges are refillable and the ink only costs a few bucks to get yourself. Thanks HP for not mentioning that on, you’ve been a real pal for all these years.

So I bought a pack just to try (I’ll post a link on the bottom so you can use it as a reference) for $6.40. With a price tag like that, how could I not give it a try?It was extremely easy to refill with the pictured directions, so there’s no point in explaining it, but I recommend having a few paper towels on hand…

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All in all, it saved me 80 bucks. So I can’t complain about having ink covered hands. But I really suggest you give this a try, because you’re only lining the pockets of massive corporations that know they’ve been ripping you off for years. No big deal.

http://www.ebay.com/itm/320886254920?ssPageName=STRK:MEWNX:IT&_trksid=p3984.m1497.l2649

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A picture really does mean 1000 words.

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I could sit here for the next 7 hours typing out my past few days. Im sure I could even spend that time writing about the past few hours if I tried. But I found myself looking through a few old pictures, and by that I mean the ones from a few days ago, and I realized that you can live my life through the terrible pictures I take with my phone every day. I really do mean that. Watch.

I took a picture of my baby sister sleeping, something I’m sure she’ll hit me for when I show her when she’s 16.

I took a picture of the clouds that were below me. I took a picture of the pile of tissues that laid beside my bed when I was sick for 5 days straight, in bed and unable to make the tissues to the garbage.

I took a picture of my friend sleeping on the plane just in case he decides to blackmail me.

I took a picture of the radioactive boxes of medicine being put onto the plane just because of the cool logo.

I took a picture (or tried) of the signs that said “Do not leave the Edward Jones Dome for there is inclement weather outside” But really the sign did not speak with such diction at all. I mean, it was a sign… So how could it speak?

I took a picture of the intricate 4 pieced paper airplane that we made out of sheer boredom.

And yet, if I posted these photos on facebook, the caption for all of them would probably be #YOLO becuase you really do live once, so why waste the time writing a caption?

Facebook, where do you draw the line? The messenger app just ruined everything.

Take this scenario:

You’re finally talking to your crush on Facebook! Great! Step one is complete! But uh-oh….. she’s asked a question that you dont know how to answer. Say she asked you who you like. That’s right. You’re screwed now. So it’s time for backup, you know, message a friend about the girl you’re messaging on what to say. But your aid isn’t quick to reply either. By now, the girl is wondering what your’re thinking, and she might be getting a bit bummed, mad, sad, angry – I mean, who knows what a girl’s reaction will be! They’re girls! To top it all off, she would now know that you already read the message the second she sent it. That’s just a slap in the face and a whole mess of awkwardness if you ask me.

Facebook, I appreciate your aid given by the single benefit of this feature: Now the people looking for me when i’m not quickly answering their texts can message me on facebook and they can see if you read the message or not, so they know I still have a pulse. Smart.

Now, I feel strongly about this probably because something like this happened to me a few years ago. I won’t go into details, but my uncle basically got me my crush and a best friend for life.